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  • Writer's pictureKeoni Eichholtz



Dolphins Defense

Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins

Much like the notorious villain I quoted last week, things did not work out well for my prediction. I have taken that into consideration and have really thought long and hard in order to try and better myself for the sake of providing you insightful, thoughtful analysis that can give you a real chance to win. That’s why I will no longer promote reckless, on a whim picks but rather I will now take the time to truly deliberate over who is the best possible sit or start option for every week. As a result, I came up with a truly thoughtful and concise argument for who the sit of the week should be, and if I do say so myself, I think it’s one of the most finely crafted pieces of fantasy football insight and journalism there has ever been. Unfortunately, the file got corrupted when the computer it was written on blew up in an freak accident created as a result of a military operation pertaining to genetically altered platypuses, so unless you want to retrieve the said computer from the jowls of a highly intelligent, 50 foot platypus named Maurice at the darkest depths of the Marianas Trench, you’ll have to stick with what I came up with after I closed my eyes and pointed to 1 of 32 randomly arranged NFL teams logos. Therefore, this week’s Sit of the Week is the Miami Dolphins defense.

I know it might sound slightly ludicrous, but the randomly pointing method worked out; thank you Maurice for that. They are facing the Buffalo Bills who didn’t have the best of weeks in the first week of the 2021 season, but much like Maurice and his 99 brothers and sisters, I feel that was an abnormality. It was a freak occurrence that will likely not happen that exact way again or at least in such close proximity to last week. That’s what I was told to say because in no way shape or form will there be any such experiments happening again in the near future (winky face emogi.). I am definitely still talking about the Buffalo Bills performance against the Steelers of Pittsburgh and not any other thing discussed previously in this helpful fantasy football article. As I am still discussing them, Josh Allen and that team were stymied by the really good Steelers defense. The Dolphin’s defense is good seeing as they’ve had 23 straight games with a turnover and although I expect that streak to continue, I don’t think the Bills will have as difficult a time against them as they did the Steelers. It takes some time for teams to find their groove and the Bills still had good offensive numbers with Diggs and Beasley getting 13 targets each. I expect Allen to get back to his 2020 accuracy range and complete more of those passes resulting in better performances all around. To really drive the point home, in the past 5 meetings between the Bills and Dolphins, the Bills have averaged 39.4 points per game. Even if the Dolphins do have a few turnovers, that cannot make up for that level of offensive production.

Therefore, sit the Dolphins defense this week and relax as we wait for the Platypus overlords to make everything better. Good luck and all hail Maurice!

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